


The Sex Toys Verse

by justlittleoldunkillableme (AmbecaWatson)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, M/M, Masturbation, Rimming, Roommates, Sex Toys, Switching, Topping from the Bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:31:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4543329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbecaWatson/pseuds/justlittleoldunkillableme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says on the tin. Dean and Cas are room-mates in college and Dean has developed a habit of sneaking Cas' sex toys and masturbate to him whenever he's alone. One time Cas nearly catches him in the act and grows aware of Dean taking his stuff.<br/>He isn't mad, and instead encourages them testing new toys separately, but together. In time, both of them realise that toys maybe aren't the bees knees because in reality, it's the person on the other side of the wall that they want.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I preliminarily tagged some things that aren't in yet and more tags will surely follow.

“Hey Cas, have you got anything planned for today?”

“Not that much, I thought of maybe going to the cinema with Charlie. Why do you wanna do something?”

“No, not really. I just wondered if you would be out today.”

Cas, his roommate nodded, used to Dean and his questions by now as he finished typing his report for his course.

Dean really didn’t want to get rid of Cas or anything, he just couldn’t be around the guy for too long without wanting to jump his bones and a relationship with his roommate was the last thing on his mind right now. He knew he wasn’t good at stuff like this and Cas would surely expect romantic gestures and cuddling. All of which weren’t Dean’s forte at all. 

Cas waved him goodbye when he shut his laptop down, going out to the cinema like he had thought about doing.

Dean was left all by himself and wondered how long it would take until he couldn’t stop the urge anyone.

It took him all of five minutes to get up and walk over into Cas’ room. In here it was meticulously tidy, and Dean was lucky if he ever found a scrap of dirt or a slip of paper out of place in here. Today though, he was lucky. He found the t shirt Cas had worn yesterday, still carelessly thrown over the hamper.

He checked behind his shoulder if there really was no one here before he pressed it to his nose and inhaled deeply. He would feel like a creeper, if not for the fact that it smelled so damn amazing. He held it in front of his mouth, breathing in Cas’ shower gel, and overall Cas’ inherent sweet smell, given a hint of bitterness by a faint smell of sweat that lingered in the fabric.

Dean thought it smelled better than sex. He moaned into the t shirt, too far gone to feel dirty as shamelessly searched through the box in which Cas kept his toys. 

“You beauty,” he said in a muffled voice through the t shirt when he found a new one he hadn’t used yet. It was bright pink and felt very slick to the touch. He flinched when he turned it on and it started to buzz while the top spun around. 

He carried both the articles over into his own bedroom and quickly went to prepare himself for a bit of fun.

He laid down, propped up on three pillows, and watched himself in the mirror as his ass opened up around his fingers.

“I really needed this tonight,” he told no one in particular as he watched himself grow hard and his nipples perked up when he teased a wet finger around them. 

He rested his head on the pillows in his back, lazily watching himself as he poured more lube out onto his fingers and teased them over his balls before he went back in with three fingers.

He worked them into himself for a while, knowing exactly where to aim to make him go cock-eyed.

“Could come from this alone,” he whispered and grabbed the vibrator that lay next to him on the bed.

He teased the unusually slick plastic over his lips, licking around the head and then sucked it into his mouth, fully imagining that it was Cas’ cock he was sucking. He watched himself flushing around the plastic cock, practising his best seductive head twirl around the toy and wishing he’d see Cas close his eyes as he moaned and grabbed his head to thrust into him.

There was a loud suction sound when he let the toy plop out of his mouth and turned it on with one hand, letting it glide down his torso, teasing over both nipples for a while before he looked down and angled it at his open hole.

“Fuck,” he hissed when the head breached into him, his legs shaking as his feet pressed into the mattress with his toes curling.

“Fuck,” he bit out again and braced himself on one arm, the image in the mirror not enough, he wanted to see the toy pushing into himself with his own eyes.

His fingers twisted in the comforter as the toy slid further inside and finally his head fell back when it was all the way in.

“Wow, Cas. You really have the best gadgets,” he moaned and turned the vibration on, simultaneously grabbing Cas’ t shirt and holding it in front of his face as he slid the buzzing toy in and out of himself.

He moaned into the fabric, already pent up just knowing that Cas played with the toy like he was right now, fucking himself for a couple of minutes.

“Hang on, this thing can do more,” he said and pressed another button on the base. The top started spinning inside him, pressing into his prostate whenever it came back around.

Fucking shit!” he cursed, his cock twitching as he abandoned thrusting the toy into himself and just clenched around it, breathing Cas’ scent in and jerking off while the toy continued to buzz inside him.

“Fuck,” his toes curled again, his breath was a mere pant into Cas’ shirt and finally he came, shouting out: “Oh Cas, yes. Fuck, yeah!”

“Awesome,” he grinned widely, switching the toy off but letting it rest inside him as he relaxed, fully satisfied and relishing the feeling of full inside him.  
“Dean?” he heard Cas’ voice at the door to the main room and his mind went into full panic mode, nothing remaining of his earlier glow. 

Fuck, why was he back already? And why had Dean left his door open? And even more importantly, had Cas heard him?

He quietly got up, slipping into his t shirt and pulling the toy out of himself with a smacking sound to pull on some boxers. He knew he couldn’t hide everything in time, the only thing he absolutely needed to do was let the t shirt disappear. He threw it underneath his bed just when Cas’ head peeked into his room.

“I was over at Charlie’s just now and she said that she has a hot date tonight. Do you wanna watch a movie here?”

Cas looked at him, frowning about his dishevelled appearance and his undoubtedly flushed cheeks and then his eyes found the toy on the bed.

“Is that mine?”

"Yes,” Dean admitted and felt himself blushing more. “I’m sorry.”

Cas looked at him again, and Dean was unable to tell what the expression on his face meant, it was a little bit shocked and he saw that Cas was thinking hard, but there was something else too. A shimmer of glee perhaps?

Cas shrugged after a couple of seconds.

“That’s fine, just give it back clean. But I would have appreciated it if you’d asked before taking it.”

“Sorry,” Dean said again.

“It’s ok, Dean,” Cas smiled softly and then asked him: “Do we want popcorn? Of course we want popcorn,” he answered himself and went to the fridge to find a microwave packet of sweetened popcorn while Dean walked out of his bedroom to find a movie, his mind on the t shirt underneath his bed which surely had burned a hole into the hard wood floor already. It was one thing that Cas was mostly fine with Dean using his toys, but pressing his dirty shirt to his face and shouting his name while he was coming was a whole different story.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas wasn’t really in the mood to go to the cinema today. He only went because Dean looked at him like he really wanted him to go out. Cas didn’t take it personally, Dean had his ways and sometimes he needed some alone time like anyone else.

But when he had stood in front of Charlie’s room and she had excitedly told him about her last minute date today, he wasn’t disappointed either. He just went back to his and Dean’s room to walk in on a nice surprise.

He was really quiet as he walked in but he heard Dean’s moans since he’d opened the door.

“I really needed this tonight,” he heard Dean’s voice and he felt hot all over when Dean’s voice sounded different from what he was used to.

He listened, hearing a faint buzzing and told him that Dean wasn’t pleasuring himself with just his hands.

He stood there, quiet as a mouse, not wanting to disturb Dean in any way as he quietly bit out some little curses and suddenly Cas heard the slick sound of Dean jerking himself off.

He flinched a little, almost thinking he’d been caught out on perving, when Dean groaned out his name. But then he gulped when he heard a loud breath and the sounds of jerking and buzzing stopping. He hadn’t imagined Dean coming with his name on his lips, did he?

“Dean?” he asked, shifting his pants uncomfortably, only then realising that he had called his name out loud and now he couldn’t go back. Act normal, he told himself, smoothing his sweaty palms over his trousers as he explained why he was back.

He peeked into Dean’s room and felt warmth creep up his neck as he saw his own toy lying on Dean’s bed. He imagined how it must have looked inside Dean, and he felt himself fill at the thought of having the toy that Dean had just used inside himself again. 

He told Dean he was fine with him using his toys and let Dean pick a movie, a bit glad that Dean was so embarrassed by being caught that he hadn’t noticed that Cas was raging hard.

“I’m going to the toilet and then we’ll start,” he mumbled at Dean’s back, leaning low in front of the shelves with their DVDs in it. 

Cas’ vision was filled with Dean’s muscular thighs which quivered a little as he crouched there and he was in a frenzied hurry to get to the bathroom.

When he was inside, he reached inside his trousers, taking a hand on himself and stroking rapidly. Alone the thought of Dean and what he had done and how it would have looked brought Cas off in under a minute. He had to bite his knuckles as he jerked his orgasm out into the sink.

Afterwards, he panted, with his hands holding onto the ceramic with a death grip. He looked up into the mirror above the sink and muttered to himself: “You are so fucked,” and he looked it too. His gaze even looked lusting to his own eyes and he knew that if he went back out looking like this, Dean would know immediately what happened in the bathroom and who had been the reason for it.

He splashed water as cold as the tap could hold it into his face to maybe get rid of their bedroom expression and he only walked back out when he felt halfway presentable again. While he paced the bathroom, his feverish mind came up with a plan.

“What happened? Did you fall in?” Dean laughed about his own joke and Cas joined in, perhaps not as enthusiastically as he usually laughed at Dean’s weakest joke which Dean noticed immediately. 

He scratched the back of his neck, still embarrassed.

“I told you I’m sorry. It’s gotta be weird for you.”

“It’s not,” Cas said and praised himself for being able to stay nonchalant after the spectacular Dean-induced orgasm he’d just had. “In fact, it gives me a great opportunity. I am not buying all those toys for kicks, you know? I’m reviewing them in an online blog.”

“Really?” Dean seemed amazed and forget to be embarrassed for a second. 

“Yes,” Cas smiled softly. “And I was wondering if you’d like to be like my second reviewer, to give them a bit more credit.”

“And how would that work?” 

“We would go out to shops and find interesting toys. Then we’d use them individually and compare notes when we’re… you know.”

“That sounds potentially awkward,” Dean said, still scratching his neck.

“Dean,” Cas said empathetically. “You’re my best friend and if I can’t ask you about this, then who?”

“Touché,” Dean said and put the movie on. “I’ll do this, if it will really help you,” he tried to clap Cas’ knee like a friend would, but both of them realised he let his palm rest there too long and if he really just wanted to be friends, he probably should not have smoothed his thumb over Cas’ inner thigh were it began just above his knee.

While they watched the first part of the original Star Wars trilogy for the 20th time together, Cas thought that things had gone much better than he thought they’d go. Now the only thing that he needed to do was ask Charlie how to run a damn blog and to make it look as if the story he had just told Dean was actually true.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days they walked on eggshells around each other. Neither of them wanted to admit that the carefully built boundaries between them were crumbling now that Cas had heard Dean coming with his name on his lips and admitting to himself that he fantasised about peridot green eyes staring down at him as he masturbated.

He knew he wanted Dean, and now he also knew that Dean thought about him in his most private moments, but was that enough? 

Whenever they had been at parties together and someone was coming on to Dean he had sometimes said yes, but it had never gone past one night. And would just one night with Dean be worth it for the awkwardness of continuing to live together for a whole agonisingly slow post-coital semester?

Cas didn’t know the answer, didn’t even know why Dean was so anti relationships or what had happened to make him like this. The only thing he did know was that he came harder then ever when he fucked himself with the vibrator Dean had sneaked out of his room with.

He imagined that it was Dean inside him, moving in a delicious rhythm and when he was done coming, he hid his face in the pillow, smiling to himself and feeling a wave of feelings crash inside him. He continued to smile as he came down from his orgasm but once the glow passed, he got to thinking. All these feelings he had during the afterglow would have been the part where he would pull Dean down, holding him, lazily petting him and still feeling him inside himself. 

Cas’ eyes flew open and he knew he wanted. Wanted everything. The whole packet. And he was gonna get it.

 

After an evening course during the next week they went out to a sex shop together and both of them had a good time testing the gadgets and joking about some of the more ridiculous names.

At the end of their shopping trip, they had assembled a whole new set of toys that already caused Cas a headache when he heard the cashier announce the price of all the goods. 

His story about the online blog wasn’t true after all and he didn’t have any sponsors, so he’d pay a lot of money for the off-chance that Dean might come around to him through all of this.

Dean of course knew nothing about Cas’ troubles and hummed along to a rock song that blared out of his speakers as he drove them back to their dorm.

“So I was thinking, we’ll go swapsies with half of the things each and then compare notes and write posts for everything?” 

Dean knew he sounded way too excited about this and it should be awkward but he was also incredibly ready to do this. Nothing like some good orgasms and helping out a friend, he told himself.

“Yes, that sounds agreeable,” Cas told him as they carried in the bags with the new play things.

They picked the ones that looked most interesting and then they shuffled around awkwardly a bit. It was a little different in reality to know that both of them were gonna use toys on themselves now than the mere hypothetical idea of it.

Dean moved over to the fridge when he felt the awkwardness almost physically hurt him. 

“Here,” he said, not being able to properly meet Cas’ eyes as he handed him a water bottle. “Don’t want you to dehydrate,” he scratched his head and Cas smiled softly when he blushed as he asked: “Got enough lube?”

“I’m covered. You?”

“Yeah, all good.”

Another awkward pause followed and after about a minute Dean grabbed the things he wanted to test and mumbled: “See you later then.”

“You too,” Cas muttered as the door to Dean’s room closed and he wished it was made of glass so he’d be able to see what was going on there.

In the end, he sighed and grabbed his own stash. It was doubtlessly gonna be good, but he couldn’t wait for the toy exchange and how radiant Dean would look after using all those things on himself.

With a smile and his head full of the other, Cas turned on the first toy.

 

“Woah, dude. You can’t give that one just a 9 out of 10 on the hot dick list! That’s definitely the best we’ve tested,” Dean said when Cas wanted to click 9 lifesized little dicks on top of a new post, a thing Charlie had thought of and then said she'd need therapy after.

“Ok, make your case. Why is it better than the uh… ‘pleasure pole’ for instance?”

“That was your favourite?”

“Mhm,” Cas hummed and leaned back in his chair. The sessions of toys had really relaxed him, even though he hadn’t dared to be too loud, let alone shout out the name going through his head all the time. 

Dean on the other hand had shown no such reserve and Cas had heard him moan like a star inside his room which had gotten him off more than anything he had done to himself.

“Dude!” Dean said emphatically and drove Cas out of his musings as he smiled and went on: “The thing properly does you. Like you wriggle it a bit and then you feel like you’re in heaven. And if you switch between the vibrations while you really push it in you come like a son of a bitch. And it doesn’t even taste all rubbery, almost like skin.”

“What?” Cas asked flabbergasted and moved so fast out of his relaxed stance that he felt his neck twinge. “You actually sucked on them?” he asked as he rubbed the pain out of his neck.

“Yeah, course I did,” Dean frowned at him as he got up behind him and pushed Cas‘ hand away to massage his neck instead; a major in sports medicine had it's perks. “I wanna help you out with this, so I’d better do it properly,” he said while his fingers prodded at Cas’ aching hard muscle.

“You should really go into sports therapy with those hands of yours. Or open a spa and give out massages all day long,” Cas said before he could stop himself and he hoped he sounded less sexed out than how he really felt.

“I’ve thought about it,” Dean said and even though Cas couldn’t see him, he knew he had just shrugged. He also knew Dean was smiling as he went on: “About the sports therapy, not the massage thing.”

The massage turned more into slow, delicious torture now as Cas actually realised that Dean’s hands were on him, kneading his tense shoulders as he typed a few of the notes they had already compared into the blog that Charlie had said up for him.

He felt tortured because despite countless orgasms, warmth was creeping up inside him as Dean worked him and thought that both their inhibitions must have been considerably lowered by their toy research party tonight because Dean was doing something like this without feeling awkward about it. And on top of that, Cas didn’t show any decency to announce that his muscles felt warm and kink free already, because he didn't want Dean to stop, so he just went rubbing his neck and sometimes made some annotations about the reviews that Cas wrote.

His hands stopped moving once they were done for the night and both felt a certain reluctance to move.

“Hey, what’s those numbers over there?” Dean asked and leant down to stare at the screen to prolong the moment. 

Cas gulped because of Dean’s proximity and because he had no idea what Charlie had put there.

He hovered over the number and hoped to get a clue what it was, and then Dean gasped when text appeared next to the mouse cursor.

“That’s your hit counter? Wow, that’s impressive.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Cas answered nonchalantly, happy that Dean had solved the riddle by himself.

“Don’t be so modest. You’re internet famous. Hey, why don't you don’t have a personal pic here?”

“Do I need one?”

“Not really, but it would be nice if your followers could see you and dream about you on their sad, lonely nights.”

Cas laughed out loud and Dean had a defensive smile on his face now: “What? I bet they’d think you’re gorgeous.”

“I doubt that. But if you insist on putting a photo up there, you’re gonna be in it too.”

“Fine by me,” he grinned and they moved closer together so that Dean could take a picture.

He laughed again when they saw themselves on the screen.

“Dude you got major sex hair going,” he chuckled as he carded through Cas’ unruly bed head.

“Like you’re any better,” he gave back and carded through Dean’s shorter hair with both hands, pleased to find Dean leaning closer when he wanted to stop and he actually purred when Cas kept his strokes up.

“You’re like a cat,” Cas chuckled and felt his heart racing because he was allowed to touch Dean like this.

“Yeah and true to cat nature, I’m getting really sleepy now,” Dean yawned and gently took hold of Cas’ wrists as he helped him up.

“Ouch!” Cas bit out and both looked down to were the muscle of his thigh was visibly cramping.

“Wriggle your toes,” Dean said and laid a warm hand on the muscle to move it against the cramp. “Is it stopping?”

“Yeah,” Cas panted, mostly because of Dean’s hand on this sensitive area and not because of the cramping.

“Can you walk?” Dean asked, his eyes particularly impressive with only three inches between their faces.

“Yes, but it would be better if you’d steady me.”

“You got it,” Dean said and laid a steadying hand around Cas’ waist as he helped him to hobble back to bed.

“Hold up- No, wait-” he laughed as Cas simply flopped down without leaving him time to retreat so Dean fell flat on top of him. 

“Awesome,” he chuckled and braced himself above him. “Did I hurt you?” 

“No,” Cas rumbled lowly, moving his arms up over Dean’s back.

Dean frowned a little at feeling Cas caress him but he didn’t move away, not even when Cas’ hands had reached the back of his neck and pried to get him closer.

He let himself be pulled until their mouths were a mere inch apart and Cas quietly mouthed: “Dean,” closing his eyes and moving a fraction of an inch closer yet.

Dean’s breath hitched as he felt invited to kiss Cas, he stared down and panic rose inside him. He cupped Cas’ cheek to let him down gently and not too abruptly, but when Cas nuzzled his palm and pressed a kiss into it without opening his eyes, Dean knew Cas would be hurt by anything he’d do to pull away now.

“Cas,” he moved closer, the tip of his nose brushing the nose of the other who sighed happily and turned his mouth up further, a little desperate hitch in his breath but Dean couldn’t bring himself to go for it. It would mean so much if he kissed Cas and the thought scared him to death.

Cas didn’t notice how torn Dean was and pulled at his neck unexpectedly so that their lips were touching at last and the thought of finally doing what he'd wanted to do for so long had Cas attack Dean’s mouth with his tongue and teeth until he felt him open up and triumphantly let his tongue probe into the other’s mouth.

Dean groaned, not being able to tell what kind of groan it was as he felt a hot tongue press into his, Cas all in his mouth and he felt his fighting spirit rise. He wouldn’t take his tongue without giving back as good as he got, was his last clear thought, before he gasped into the kiss and let his tongue work alongside Cas’.

Fuck he tasted good, he thought, and then wondered how the rest of his body would taste. But when he reached this point the felt himself mentally pull back for real now, parting their lips despite Cas’ vice grip around him while aldo being torn because if he was honest with himself, he wanted to keep kissing him.

“I’m really tired,” he whispered when he saw Cas’ intense eyes stare up at him confusedly and when he had finished speaking, something behind them seemed to close itself off. “I should get to bed. My bed,” he blushed when he realised that he was inside of a bed. Cas’ bed. With Cas ready and open underneath him, having just stolen the best kiss of his life from him.

“Yes,” Cas nodded and Dean saw something in his jaw twitch as he removed his hands from his body. He didn’t know what to do, how to get out of this without making it worse. “So when’re we gonna test more things?” he smiled and hoped Cas knew that he was offering an olive branch here.

“How about next week? There is a store that does exact replicas of cocks and they’re growing popular all over. People would be interested in the result of a thing like that. We could make two and then use ours on ourselves.”

Dean’s head was a mess now because of the fact that he was gonna see a replica of Cas’ dick next week, because they had just kissed and that despite his wish to escape the situation he was still on top of him, and because Cas had just said 'cock' while he felt his own one harden at that which he just had to feel because little Dean was flush on his thigh.

“That would be awkward,” he said, meaning everything in his life right now. “Fucking ourselves with our own dicks, or something kinda like it? How about I try yours and you try mine?” he asked and then cringed when he realised what he had just said.

“I’d love to,” Cas smiled happily as Dean pulled off, hoping that Cas hadn’t noticed his boner.

“Good night, then,” Dean said blushing as he fled the room.

“Good night,” Cas purred, and felt like the battle for tonight was over but the war had just begun and be much more intensive when he took it up again. Tonight, Dean had massaged him, kissed him and had been hard despite having plenty of action before. Cas didn’t count it as a loss that Dean left just now, but a really big step towards getting what he wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up the next morning with a headache and dry lips. He racked through his brain if he had gotten drunk last night, but when he saw the chairs in front of the computer lined up as close as they had been last night while he walked over into the bathroom, he remembered what had happened, or rather what his happily buzzing brain had told him to do.

He groaned and instead of drinking, he ducked his head under the tap and let cold water run over himself.

What had he thought when he rubbed Cas so extensively? When he massaged his freakin’ leg? When he fuckin’ kissed him and got hard on while lying on the guy?

He groaned again as he hopped under the shower. It was one thing to fantasise about Cas, to wish he could have sex with him to want to hold him close, but in reality? He had to admit that kissing him in reality felt better than everything he had ever dreamt about but he really didn’t want to have to deal with relationship things right now. He just wasn’t ready.

When he was done showering, Cas greeted him outside the bathroom with a wide smile and a coffee.

“Good morning, Dean,” he smiled and raised his hand to card through Dean’s still a little wet hair like they had also done last night.

Cas’ hand felt good, Dean nearly closed his eyes but after a few rubs he took Cas’ hand down and then let go quickly. But he did take the coffee too and he was damned because his heart raced even more when Cas’ fingers touched his.

“Hey that was mine,” Cas squinted as Dean wanted to drink and he blushed, handing the cup back embarrassedly.

“Sorry.”

“I was kidding,” Cas smirked now, coming closer as if to make it even more obvious that there was a shift in their relationship now. Dean’s hairs stood up when Cas whispered into his ear: “Enjoy the coffee,” but he might as well have said: “Fuck me until I scream,” with his voice even lower than usual and his outstretched hand somehow having found it’s way onto Dean’s chest, the thumb distinctly brushing over his nipple.

“Thanks,” he said in a brash voice and took a step back to raise the cup to his lips. He sipped and then he could have hit himself on the head for the sound that escaped him at the wonderful taste.

Cas looked like the cat that swallowed the cream as Dean moaned with his eyes half closed and followed him by taking a step towards him, standing flush against him again and staring into his eyes.

Dean found himself captured and he knew he wouldn’t pull away anymore. He physically couldn’t, because the bathroom door was in his back and because he really didn’t want to. His gaze darted down to Cas’ lips which were as dry as his own. He wetted his lips in a nervous gesture when the lips he really wanted to wet were still one inch from his own, just when his phone rang in his bedroom.

“Sorry, I gotta…” he mumbled, breaking the moment and walking over into his room to take the call while Cas nearly punched the empty door frame in frustration.

 

“So that was Sammy. He uh… he’s in town and wants to meet me, obviously…”

“That’s nice. That your brother comes to visit you,” Cas smiled as he watched Dean get ready, his breath hitching as Dean bent down to lace up his boots and Dean flinched at the sound, toppling over and landing on his butt painfully.

“Are you alright?” Cas smiled and got up to see for himself.

“It’s fine. Easier actually,” Dean grinned as he did his boots up while sitting on the floor and then accepted Cas’ hand to pull him up.

Cas moved over with him to the door, not letting go of his hand and tugging a little when Dean got his keys and wanted to walk out.

“So, I’ll see you later then,” Dean wanted to say as a goodbye but Cas had apparently decided he wanted something else for a goodbye because he was all over him again, already moving in to kiss and Dean knew of no earthly reason not to kiss him goodbye as he felt him move closer and closer.

Their lips met, and Cas immediately groaned, moving his lips and tongue passionately, letting him know that he was all game for more if Dean could only make up his mind to it.

Dean reciprocated the kiss nearly as enthusiastically, his hands in Cas’ hair and his breath a steady gasp in his mouth.

After a minute, he dissolved his hold on Cas again, his voice throaty as he said: “I gotta meet Sammy now.”

Cas nodded with a heavy breath as he pressed another deliberate peck, which could so not be sold as a heat of the moment kinda thing, onto his lips as he whispered: “Hurry back.”

Dean nodded, his mind hazy but glad to leave now. This standing with his back to the door and kinda enjoying it too had to stop if he didn’t wanna do something stupid soon.

 

“So you and Cas?” Sam asked him over a beer in the nearest bar.

“No, I-… No. I don’t know.”

Sam grinned at him past the opening of his bottle: “Yeah that makes a whole lot of sense,” he smirked sassily.

“Things are a little complicated right now," Dean tried to shrug it off. "With me helping him with that. Obviously we’re kinda swimming right now but it’ll settle again.”

“Doesn’t sound like Cas wants it to settle though,” Sam voiced his opinion about the things that Dean had told him were happening with his roommate right now.

“But I can’t,” Dean shook his head, a painful grimace on his face.

His brother knew exactly what was the matter with him.

“Look, Dean. I know Lisa hurt you, but that’s no reason to turn into a hermit now. Things would be different with Cas. He’s crazy about you and you’re crazy about him. What’s your problem?”

“My problem?” Dean asked with an incredulous raise of his eyebrows. “My problem is that Lisa wasn’t the first one to do that to me. Cassie too, and Amanda before her. Even freakin’ Rhonda. They all lied to me, in a way that I couldn’t forgive them. It’s like I’m cursed or something.”

“Yeah, but you can’t compare lying about wanting to meet her friends like Rhonda did to what Lisa did to you. Cheating is so much worse than that.”

“Yeah. Exactly,” Dean stated with a hopeless tone. “And the lies seem to get bigger and bigger. What’s to say that Cas won’t do something even worse?”

“Well, nothing. But you gotta give him a choice or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. If it‘s not Cas, then it‘s no one.”

 

Dean gulped whenever he thought about his brother’s words for days, carefully avoiding too much personal contact with Cas until they had their ‘date’ to have their dick replicas built.

It was awkward to say the least because the shop assistant seemingly didn’t understand Dean’s objection that he and Cas weren’t a couple and therefore wouldn’t like to jerk themselves hard in the same room so that their dicks could be photographed and measured before they pressed them into a quickly drying paste to have a print of it which was then filling out with silicone.

So Dean undressed with his back to Cas, hoping and praying that he did the same, but when he turned he saw that Cas hadn’t averted his eyes and instead greedily roamed his body while he cupped himself with two hands.

Dean gulped and distinctly turned around, he couldn’t do this facing Cas, he’d jerk _him_ instead, kiss him hotly and maybe even try to bend him over right here.

He screwed his eyes shut in embarrassment about himself when he felt thoroughly hard and throbbing about what he had just imagined. Things didn't get better when he heard a slick sound and had to bite his lips so he didn’t groan at the mental image of Cas staring at him as he jerked off.

He door to the room opened and Dean felt a little self-conscious as the shop assistant came in, thoroughly professional and handed him a tape so that he could measure himself with shaky fingers. He tried the sheath too, but his dick didn’t really like the attention of the stranger and decided to leave the party.

“Oh, uh… it looks like we’re needing a little help here…” he motioned Cas over and Dean blushed even more.

“It’s not like that-” he started to say but then he felt Cas against his back, his skin smooth and warm on his and his hands moving around to his front immediately, stroking and caressing while something hard poked into Dean’s asscheek.

“Dean,” Cas moaned into his neck, rubbing up and down his torso and the shop assistant let out an approving sound when Dean was all up and proud again in less than a minute.

“That’s done it.”

Dean felt himself blushing as he could finally finish the process and it was Cas’ turn next. He didn’t need any help other than letting his fingers glide over Dean’s arm to assure himself that he was still all there.

“Ok, that’s perfect. We’ll have the articles ready for you in a day. If you would come back in then?”

“Yes, that’s agreeable,” Cas smiled and Dean only nodded. He was so screwed. And all that without actually being screwed.


	5. Chapter 5

In the evening, Dean had almost recovered from, was it humiliation? Fear? Unresolved sexual tension? Perhaps everything, but he didn’t care to theorise about his inner workings right now, because Cas came out of the bathroom and smiled as soon as he saw him.

He moved over to the couch and sat down right next to him as to not leave him in any doubt that he had no intention of pulling back again.

Sighing, Dean laid his arm on the back of the couch to have at least a bit of space to himself, cursing himself internally when Cas understood it as an invitation to sink into his arm and snuggle up closer.

Should have thought about how that looked, he thought, as Cas watched his own hand reverently stroking Dean’s chest, slowly circling lower. Or maybe he had thought about it and just didn’t want to admit it to himself, it was all so confusing but at the same time wonderful.

“I should get us some popcorn or something,” he beamed at Cas, still wanting to pull away, who looked up confused and a little hurt when Dean wanted to move and he pinned him down from the side.

“Dean, please. Don’t leave,” he said with a vulnerability to him that Dean hadn’t realised was even there.

He stared at Cas in wonder as he settled back against the cushion in his back and Cas moved once he was sure that Dean would stay.

He now looked down on him, again moving in and Dean knew what he was gonna do and didn’t lift a finger to stop him as Cas’ mouth found his again. Instead he pulled Cas onto his lap and he only followed too willingly, the TV in the background squawking something long forgotten about.

Suddenly Cas was on him, his fingers exploring and stroking just like they had done on his naked skin earlier and Dean flushed crimson at the memory.

Cas must have felt the heat in his cheeks because he parted their mouths and stared down in confusion and arousal.

“Sleep with me tonight,” he whispered and his fingers darted underneath Dean’s shirt, pulling and even ripping a bit as Dean followed Cas’ movements with a mesmerised expression, his eyes still wide and before he even started to think again he nodded and stroked over Cas’ bottom lip as they settled on the couch again, Cas’ fingers feeling even better on him now.

“Dean,” Cas moaned triumphantly but shaky at Dean giving in and pulled his own shirt off in one go, then being back immediately for more kisses. His shivering got more intense when Dean raked his short nails over his exposed back and he felt him smile into the kiss.

Cas fumbled at his belt buckle now, smiling more when he hadn’t managed after a whole minute: “I can’t get it, I’m too excited,” he moaned another kiss into Dean’s mouth as he opened his own pants and got down from his lap to shake them off.

He stood there in nothing but briefs and held his hand out for Dean to get up. He took it and when he got up his nipples brushing over Cas’ as he kept eye contact and undid his pants with jerky movements.

“My bed or yours?” Cas sighed and let the back of his hand trail down Dean’s torso.

“Doesn’t matter,” Dean mumbled and let Cas lead him over into his bedroom, finding himself again on top of Cas in the same position as before, but this time with no intention of pulling out of the situation as he felt Cas’ still shaking fingers fumble around with his underwear and pulling it down.

Cas sighed again triumphantly at finally seeing Dean completely naked and lifted his hips off the bed when Dean quietly pulled his own briefs off.

“I don’t even have to wait for the replica to see you,” he smiled and opening his legs, he pulled Dean between them, kissing him and stroking over the hair just above Dean’s temples.

“Cas,” Dean moaned when he felt Cas’ cock rubbing against his own.

“Yes?” Cas answered, greedily pushing up for more friction.

Dean didn’t know how to communicate what he wanted so he let his hand trail own Cas’ body, bringing both their cocks together in his fist, thrusting slightly to let Cas know what he wanted.

“Yes!” Cas moaned in agreement, working alongside him to take the edge off before they did anything more.

Dean thrusted into his fist and his mind exploded when Cas did the same. He came onto his hand not a minute into the joint handjob and Cas trailed after him immediately.

“That was good,” Dean grinned and lowered himself onto Cas for at breathing pause.

“Yes,” Cas seemed to glow with happiness as he held Dean and pressed kisses to his forehead. “And when we’re up to it again, you’ll prepare me and fuck me.”

“Yeah, I will,” Dean grinned and knew that he must just pretty dumb with his face parted into the same stupefied smile that had been on his face after their toy session.

“You’re so beautiful. I like afterglow Dean,” Cas commented when Dean moved to stare at him.

“I’m not,” Dean blushed but didn’t continue arguing now, major mood kill material. And he didn’t want to kill the mood. He wanted Cas, for better or worse.

Cas interpreted the determination in Dean’s gaze right and brought his knees up. 

“You can go ahead, I’m all ready for you.”

“Always come prepared, huh?” Dean smiled as he shifted down, and nervously looked at Cas’ spent cock and his still filled balls. “I’m nervous,” he chuckled when Cas parted his ass for him to see even more of him.

“Don’t be. Kiss me there first. You’re very good at that,” he praised to encourage Dean more. 

He nodded valiantly, kissing and licking over the part of Cas’ legs that joined his crotch area, slowly moving more into the middle, and scenting the musky arousal here. After a few minutes of this, he wasn’t nervous anymore, licking stripes up Cas’ balls and chuckling happily when they moved because he was so forceful in his licks.

“I really wanna suck you,” he told Cas, taking up his cock like he was very precious and mouthing at the tip, looking up to see Cas screw his eyes shut at the tight heat around the head of his cock.

“It’s perfect,” he groaned as Dean grew bolder, holding his balls in his hand and taking his cock down low into his throat to get Cas hard again. He moaned at the feeling of Cas filling up within him, and smirked once he was fully erect.

“Please, Dean. I need more,” Cas said, again parting himself and sighing happily when Dean’s tongue finally lapped at his rim.

Dean loved Cas’ taste and his little moans when he darted into him, opening him methodically. Cas enjoyed being rimmed immensely and moaned louder and louder for Dean, his abs twitching as he rose off the bed time and time again, screaming out Dean’s name as he started to add fingers and widened him more.

“Who knew you could be so loud,” Dean chuckled when he was satisfied with his work and saw that Cas looked completely outdone and fucked, his cock proudly standing vertically in Dean’s line of sight and inviting him to kiss the top of it, licking into the slit of it and get more of a taste of him.

“That’s because you’re amazing,” Cas beamed, his head falling back onto the pillow in exhaustion as Dean pulled his fingers out and Cas could only move his eyes into the direction of the lube on the nightstand.

Dean grabbed the bottle and massaged it once around Cas’ hole before he carried a load of it into him and Cas immediately moaned for it again.

“So sensitive,” he chuckled as he looked around for condoms too but Cas begged him to go in without one.

“It’s all clear, and I really wanna feel all of you,” he smiled when Dean looked a bit afraid again. That was a whole new level of intimacy and he couldn’t lie to himself about the meaning of this.

He started to think again, rolling his eyes at himself as he did, but Cas felt him zoning out. He pulled himself open again, Dean catching the movement and his mouth watered at them both being ready to do this. He looked up at Cas’ face again who nodded with a hitching, expecting breath, and so Dean lined up and carefully pushed into him, he wasn’t the only one moaning, the stretch and the heat feeling too good to keep quiet.

“Oh Cas,” Dean moaned with an edge to it as he bottomed out.

“Oh yes,” Cas smiled and pulled at Dean again. “Come here.”

Dean settled his hands on the mattress and carefully began moving.

“ ‘s good? Are you good?”

“I’m better than that,” Cas smiled and kissed him quickly with heat in his movements. “You can go harder. I’m not made of glass.”

Dean felt his head cradled as he picked up a faster, harder rhythm and thought that he had never felt better than this as Cas clenched around him and at least his eyes were definitely glassy.

“Just a bit more,” Cas moaned, worrying his lip until Dean fumbled it out from between his teeth, before he planted his hand on the mattress again.

“Don’t do that,” he shook his head and kissed Cas again, to give his teeth something else to play with than his own lip as both of them felt Dean's cock throbbing inside Cas. His rhythm grew erratic and Cas lifted a hand to his dick because he was close too.

Dean parted their lips when Cas’ breathed too shallow and he watched him come on his dick with his eyes heavy lidded and Dean’s name on his lips.

He was in a tumble because of it, the heat and perfect clench around him making it inevitable to follow Cas wherever he lead. 

Dean pumped himself into Cas, moaning out his name over and over as well and completely crashing down once he was done.

“This was…” he let his voice trail off because he had no words to describe how wonderful he felt right now.

“I agree,” Cas nodded, knowing what Dean meant without words.

He pulled him close, snuggling close to him with absolute content for over half an hour before he moved again.

“I have a confession,” he said then.

“What is it?” Dean moaned, sleepy and sated.

“This blog thing wasn’t real in the beginning. I did it just to get you.”

Dean didn’t know what was going on with him. Cas had basically just admitted to lying to him, the thing he feared the most, but he just laughed at him with him tightly locked away in his arms no less.

“You sneaky bastard,” he laughed and rubbed Cas’ exhausted cock by means of the only punishment he was ever gonna get for the set up.

“You’re not mad? Ah, Dean please. You’re a bit mad now, I get it. Please stop it, I can’t possibly get it up again.”

“Neither can I, but you deserved that,” he softly laid Cas' cock back down and tightened his hold around his shoulders now.

“I did, and I wish I was sorry. But I’m not. The little lie brought you here.”

“No, you brought me here. You wouldn’t stop to come at me...”

“And you didn’t want me to,” Cas gave back and slipped them both under the comforter now. “Let’s get some sleep. And tomorrow we’ll get to fuck ourselves with our artificial dicks.”

“Isn’t that the weirdest thing you could say? Kinda unbelievable,” Dean chuckled, the warm weight of Cas settling down next to him in darkness as he turned off the light now.

“No it’s not the most unbelievable thing that ever happened to me,” Cas shook his head.

“Then what is?”

“That you’re here with me,” Cas said, sleepily stroking Dean’s body.

“Damn, that’s a good answer. I don’t have a good one now.”

“You have enough time to think of a comeback,” Cas yawned and then they went to sleep in each other's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

In the morning they woke up, both a bit confused at first when they felt a warm body next to them but both smiling when they remembered what had happened.

“Mornin’”, Dean yawned when he shifted to give Cas space, but Cas held on to his stomach and kissed him good morning before he let him get up.

“Good morning, Dean,” he smiled when he felt sufficiently kissed.

“What are you smiling about?” Dean asked with a smirk of his own on his face.

“I’m happy, that’s all,” Cas answered and kissed him again before he got up to find his clothes.

“Last night,” Dean wondered while he followed Cas around with his eyes, picking up the clothes they had strewn everywhere on their way here. “You confessed something. And I have a confession of my own.”

“What is it?” Cas asked, taking Dean’s shirt off the floor.

“When you caught me with your toy, I hadn’t stolen only that. I had a shirt of yours as well.”

“Really?” Cas raised his eyebrow, to Dean’s amazement still smiling. “And what did you do with it?”

“I held it in front of my face and smelled you,” Dean blushed and couldn’t look at Cas anymore.

He only looked up when he felt the bed shift and Cas climb onto him.

“You mad at me?” he gulped with his fingers gently brushing Cas’ thighs on his sides.

“No, I’m not. I’m giving you more to smell,” Cas said and gently pulled Dean’s head close so that his nose rested in the nook of his neck.

Dean inhaled deeply and let out a muffled moan which caused Cas to brush through his hair and close his eyes as he asked: “Is this better than the t shirt?”

“So much better,” Dean answered and nuzzled him.

“Dean,” Cas moaned when he felt his neck explored and Dean’s hands on his thighs kneading him now. “We shouldn’t. It’s morning and we have courses.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Dean rasped, “you can’t let me smell you for real and then expect to be on time for your vet lecture.”

Cas chuckled and let Dean explore him a little further, then he stilled him and bent his neck so Dean looked up at him: “Tonight, I’m all yours. But we gotta get up now.”

“Tease,” Dean said disgruntled, but didn’t try to stop Cas as he got up.

“It’s only teasing if it’s worth the wait, and I assure you it will be.”

“Now you’re talking,” Dean grinned and hopped under the shower with vigour.

 

In the evening, Dean came back to their rooms, actually whistling to himself and then stopping as be became aware of it.

He felt happy, this thing with Cas was honest and he felt pretty awesome, but now he was in the situation he had tried to avoid. Obviously, Cas wanted more from him than just one night, but what happened if was gonna be another failed relationship on his list? No one had stuck around him. Ever.

His father had moved out of his childhood home as soon as Sam was off to college, so Dean had no place to come home to during breaks or for extended weekends. His brother had moved far away as well, and only came over sometimes. He couldn’t be called a steady presence in his life at this point and it pained him.

And every girlfriend he had, had lied to him and broken things off or in Lisa’s case, Dean had ended it. He didn’t feel like he could ever slow down enough to settle, because the moment he tried, someone pulled the rug out from under his feet.

What was to say that the steady friendship he had enjoyed with Cas since they became roommates 6 months ago, _wouldn’t_ be shattered now that he’d actually taken the jump and let their mutual attraction wash over themselves?

He didn’t think it was a mistake what they had done, no. It felt better than anything before ever had, but was it gonna last? Or was he expecting too much, too soon? Was that what his problem was? He was expecting to enter into a relationship and have it last a lifetime. Perhaps that had always overwhelmed his previous partners.

Someone brushed against him and now he realised that he was still standing in the hall of the dormitory with his keys in his hand.

He stared at the doorlock, knowing that Cas was behind the door, awaiting him.

Dean took up all the courage he had and opened the door and once he was through it, he couldn’t understand why he had been so nervous before because Cas got up from the couch and came at him with a smile.

He caught and held him and if his embrace was a little tighter than it should be, none but he himself was the wiser of it.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

After hugging for a minute, Cas let him over to the coffee table and showed him two identical boxes.

“Merry dirty perv Christmas,” Dean chuckled as he lifted the lid of one.

“That’s yours,” Cas said and stroked over the silicone reverently.

“How can you tell? You’ve only seen it once.”

“But I’ve felt it. It’s about an inch longer than mine or the classical toy length and a bit thicker. Trust me, I know it intimately.”

Dean roared out a laugh as Cas took of the other lid and lifted the second replica out of it’s box.

Dean stared at both of them and he tried to fight the childish urge to duel with the things, but he gave in after a minute of contemplation and nudged Cas’ artificial dick with his own.

“Boop,” he laughed and more so when Cas actually joined in and they actually got up and parried for a while with the dick swords.

“Ha ha! Impaled you,” Dean smirked when Cas let his guard down for a second and he nudged the plastic cock into his rips.

“That you did,” Cas laughed and held on to Dean’s forearms, pulling him closer, the mood shifting from light to aroused in a split second. “Let’s say we try them? Together?”

“Oh god yes,” Dean smirked and after preparing, followed Cas into his bedroom once more.

 

Dean watched with amazement how Cas opened himself up meticulously and slowly inserted the plastic replica of Dean’s dick into himself.

“Mhmm, this feels almost as good as the real you,” he said and watched Dean as he started twisting the toy inside himself.

Dean squirmed a little at Cas’ attention and felt much more comfortable when he moved over and helped him to thrust the toy into himself.

“You look so good like this,” he praised Cas, grinding against him and starting to jerk him too.

“Oh Dean, fuck!” Cas worried his lips again, and Dean knew he was close.

“Do it,” he said, licking little stripes behind Cas’ earlobe and really laid himself into the handjob until Cas yelled out his orgasm.

“Good?” he smirked.

“Very good,” Cas panted back and held him for a few minutes until he looked up with happy expectancy. “Your turn.”

“Ok,” Dean gulped and climbed off Cas, squirting lube into his palm and blushing very darkly when he felt Cas’ eyes hungrily roam over his body.

Dean started to push into himself, but even when he was in up to the first knuckle, he still felt himself clench down as if to push his own finger out.

“Dean?” Cas crawled over with concern in his eyes. “What’s the matter?” he asked when he climbed Dean just like he had just been climbed, catching Dean’s face in his hand when he wanted to look away.

“I’ve never done this when it wasn’t… just me, y’know?” he blushed again and still couldn’t meet Cas’ eyes.

“You don’t think you deserve to be the centre of anyone’s attention. Least of all someone you like?”

Dean’s eyes widened and he stared at Cas in shocked amazement as he simply admitted: “Yes.”

“I understand,” Cas beamed. “But we should get you used to this, because I plan on worshipping you.”

“You what?” he flushed even more so that he felt the blush creep everywhere.

“Dean,” Cas shook his head about Dean’s stupidity. “You don’t really think we’re gonna be a one off thing?”

“No?” Dean suggested with a tone that suggested a shimmer of hope.

“No,” Cas confirmed and held his head gently in both his hands. “I didn’t come up with an ingenious plan to get us here and then just take what I need from you. I want to give you something too. If you’ll have me.”

There it was again, the vulnerability that Dean hadn’t known lived in Cas as well and not just in himself.

“Of course I’ll have you,” he smiled and his finger now went into himself with more ease. “Let’s just take it slow, ok? I ain’t exactly a virgin, but I never had someone else inside me.”

“I’ll be gentle, when the time comes. For now, you’ll just tell me what you’re comfortable with. And you gotta let me look at you,” he stroked over Dean’s face who actually felt himself preen at Cas’ attention. “And touch you?” Cas asked when he let his hands glide lower and Dean only nodded while pushing deeper into himself.

“Yes,” he gasped, pushing into himself now and feeling Cas’ gaze on him.

“Do you want me to stay here, or can I watch you from the foot of the bed?”

“Please stay here,” Dean moaned now, finally scissoring himself open. “Can you kiss me?”

“Of course, Dean. Anything you wish,” Cas assured him and lapped into his mouth with relish while Dean’s fingers found his prostate and he moaned and bent his neck towards Cas.

Cas didn’t rush him and Dean felt cared for and cherished when he nodded up at him, and felt the dildo pressed into his hand a few seconds later.

“Can I…?” Cas asked for permission and Dean nodded.

He waited until Cas was in position, then he lined the toy up and slowly pushed it into himself.

“Oh Dean,” Cas moaned like a worshipper in the face of his idol. He climbed back up when Dean blushed crimson and tried to hide his face in the nook of his elbow.

“No, stay here. With me,” Cas pleaded with him, lifting his arm off his face and showering him with kisses.

Dean kissed back with enthusiasm, abandoning the toy inside himself to stroke Cas, but he took up his hands and tangled their fingers together.

“No Dean, not about me. All about you. Let me see you.”

Dean gulped, but nodded as he clenched around the toy, only now allowing himself to feel good as he worked it into himself with slow pushes while Cas caressed every inch of his skin, slowly growing bolder as Dean really got into it.

“There they are, your wonderful moans,” he smiled when Dean finally got loud a few minutes into playing with himself.

“Cas,” he moaned, finally unashamed, and bringing up his leg to stroke it over Cas’ hip. “Jerk me, please.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Dean groaned and his eyes went wide again as Cas licked his palm and deliberately took up his hard cock, while he sucked a hickey onto his neck.

“Ah fuck,” Dean groaned as he came on Cas’ hand and felt a mighty wave of jubilee run through him. He pulled Cas flush onto himself in his exhilaration and gasped out his name over and over until he completely finished.

“That was wonderful,” Cas said, his hand still around Dean’s cock as if he couldn’t bring himself to let it go.

“Are you up to it again?” Dean smirked but Cas saw right through his cockiness and shook his head.

“Are you sure? I’m all opened and ready now,” Dean still smirked.

“No, Dean. Not tonight. But if you want, I’ll suck you off in the shower tomorrow. But I‘m not gonna fuck you until you‘re comfortable with this.”

“It’s no big deal. We can just do it now,” Dean shrugged.

“It is a _huge_ deal,” Cas disagreed. “We’ll only do this when you’re ready for it. Let me do this for you. I wanna show you how special you are to me.”

Dean gulped again, anxious but ready to go further with Cas than he ever had with anyone else. He had the feeling that Cas would stick around, even if it took him a hundred years to get ready and that was an even better feeling than any afterglow ever was.

“Let’s just go to sleep then?” he asked, a bit embarrassed as his ass made a squelching sound when he pulled the toy out. He turned his head away and cleaned it with a tissue while Cas climbed off him and propped his head up onto his arm to look at him.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Dean asked, knowing that he needed to talk and ask for things he wanted, but it didn’t make it any easier for him.

“Of course,” Cas rasped and threw his arm around him once he was finished with cleaning. “You don’t have to ask for that.”

Dean only nodded and turned around to face him, and with another wave of feeling crashing high inside him, he tightly hugged Cas and pressed his forehead against his chest.

Cas’ reaction was immediate. His arms flew up around Dean’s shoulders, forming a safe heaven and a place to call home around him.

“I really like you, Cas. And I don’t wanna screw this up,” Dean admitted to the little mole over Cas’ nipple.

“You won’t. We won’t let this fall apart,” Cas soothed him and held him until Dean was ready to lay his head on Cas’ pillow and they went to sleep facing each other.


	7. Chapter 7

In the morning, Cas made good on his promise to suck Dean off. He loved how he lost it for him even if his knees hurt a little on the shower stall. It was worth it for the velvety hardness in his mouth and the sight of Dean keening and thrusting into him before he came.

“It seems like you’re getting more and more used to us,” Cas told him, wiping his mouth while Dean helped him onto his feet and kissed him hungrily.

“I’d better,” he groaned. “Thanks for being so patient with me. A lesser man than you would have just fucked me last night. You‘re great, Cas.”

“Thank you,” Cas actually felt himself blushing.

Instead of looking triumphant because the tides had turned and Cas was squirming from his attention, Dean simply laid a finger under his chin and their eyes met again. He smiled gently and he squirted shower gel into both their hands, starting to wash Cas, inviting him to wash him in turn.

Cas’ heart raced away in his chest at how intimate it felt to wash Dean from head to toe, giving him a nod before he parted his asscheeks to wash him there too.

Dean’s hands grabbed Cas’ arms tightly when he felt his fingers in his most intimate spot, his breath hitching when Cas didn’t stop at simply cleaning him but distinctly massaged his rim instead.

“Good?”

“Hell yeah,” Dean moaned and let his head fall on Cas’ shoulder, letting himself be pampered.

Cas steadied him, making him feel safe as he took him apart with his fingers.

“We’re wasting very much water here, but if you want I can go on. Get you off once more.”

Dean shook his head on Cas’ chest, mumbling: “Another time.”

“Ok,” Cas showed his assent and slowly moved his fingers up onto Dean’s cheeks, raking his nails over the firm flesh until Dean pressed himself against him and moaned.

“If you keep this up, I really need to shoot another load,” he moved his head up until he looked into Cas’ eyes and saw that he was all ready to do it, but he just chuckled and turned the water off.

“We gotta get to class,” he whispered and Cas pouted in turn, not letting go of his ass.

“I refuse,” he rumbled and licked water droplets off Dean’s collarbone.

“How the tides have turned. Yesterday you desperately wanted to go to your courses,” he chuckled and carded through Cas’ soaking wet hair.

“Well, today I have a quest. A mission if you like.”

“And what would that be?”

“Making you feel better than you ever felt.”

“You’re already doing that,” Dean whispered and shivered.

Cas noticed his goosebumps and opened the stall to get towels.

“You know I didn’t shiver because I was cold, right?” Dean asked, wanting nothing but honesty between them.

Cas fanned out a towel and whooshed it over Dean’s back, pulling him close.

“I know.”

He kissed Dean for a long while, and when he finally let go, he said: “By the way, Charlie is giving a party tonight. Do you wanna come with me?”

“And thank Charlie for setting the blog up for you?” Dean sassed him and whacked his towel over Cas’ inviting bare ass they as he filed out of the bathroom in front of him. 

“What?” Cas asked dumbstruck and checked himself for injuries while Dean only chuckled viciously. 

“So you think this is funny?” Cas rumbled.

“No Cas,” Dean sassed him. “It’s hilarious,” he tugged Cas close as means of an apology for his assault.

“By the way, do you actually want to keep the blog going now? We should write the dick building people a glowing review in that case.”

“If you want to,” Cas motioned to the computer while he walked over into his room to put some clothes on.

While he dressed, he heard nothing from Dean and checked on him as soon as he was ready.

He hugged him from behind and kissed his neck just underneath the jawline.

“You know you should really put something on, right? You’re very distracting,” he purred.

“You know what’s also distracting?” Dean asked with his hand playing over Cas’ arms around him.

“What?”

“Those hit numbers have doubled since we checked and people seemed to have used the donate button here, because it tells me that there are 200 bucks in your paypal account. I didn’t mean to sneak but it led me there right away and you were still logged in. You didn’t put that money there, did you?”

“No, I didn’t,” Cas frowned at the screen. “That must have been Charlie.”

“Can’t be. She can tamper with the hit counter, but she can’t magic up money like that, particularly not when you look at the personal notes of the donators.”

Dean opened a link on the blog and showed Cas some messages, anonymous one and ones from registered users who complimented the blog and the good work that they were doing.

“That one is a bit inappropriate though: ‘I want to see you on your knees while your bae rides you?’ What the hell is ‘bae’ supposed to be?”

“It’s a word,” Dean shrugged. “People use it, don’t ask me why.”

“But it really looks as if we have sponsors now. We can keep doing this. Buy new toys and test them.”

“Yeah, and maybe we can get a dinner out of it now and then,” Dean grinned.

“Is that ethical? I mean they have a purpose in mind when they give us their money.”

“Dude? We’re telling them which sex toys to buy. I don’t think they give a shit about whether you get a burger between your teeth because of this too.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Cas nuzzled Dean again as he shut the computer down.

“And yes,” Dean said as he turned around in Cas’ arms and pressed a kiss to his nose.

“Yes, what?” Cas asked, confused by having Dean so close and so free giving with affection.

“I’ll go to the party with you, dumbass,” Dean rolled his eyes at him. “And now I really put something on before I hump you and scratch myself raw on your jeans.”

“No that wouldn’t be advisable,” Cas chuckled and walked after Dean when he got into his room to dress.

He leaned in the doorframe and Dean felt a little uncomfortable knowing Cas was watching him, but he tried to make the most out of it and really swayed his hips and let the band of his briefs snack against his hipbone when he pulled his underwear up.  
He wriggled himself into his pants and pranced around while he pulled a t shirt over his head.

Then he smirked at Cas, whose arousal was painted onto his face for everyone to see.

“Like what you see?” Dean said in a teasing voice.

As means of an answer, Cas unzipped and fumbled around inside his pants until he freed his erection.

“Very much,” he said, jerking himself while Dean’s mouth watered.

“I think we still have a bit of time, don’t we?”

He moaned at the sight of Cas checking his watch while not stopping to stroke himself, shaking his head: “We really, really don’t.”

“Then I’d better make this good,” Dean answered and walked over, getting down on his knees without any preamble and Cas pressed himself into the doorframe while Dean eagerly sucked him down.

“Hmm, fuck,” he panted, so much closer just by Dean pleasuring him instead of his own hand. 

Dean’s suction and twirling brought him off in another hot minute, and they weren’t even that late when they had brushed their teeth and ran out to their courses.

“See you tonight,” Cas said as he spurted off.

“You bet you will,” Dean called after him, off into the other direction.


	8. Chapter 8

Cas was looking forward to being with Dean this evening and if he admitted it to himself also a bit to showing off that he had finally caught him and intended on keeping him. He knew he could be a bit possessive, but if he ever caught himself kissing Dean in public while giving the stink eye to any of the numerous people who always circled around Dean in the hope to get some attention from him, he’d have to kick his own butt. That wasn’t him and frankly it annoyed him whenever someone did that.

Often enough had he been in a group of acquaintances (he couldn’t even bring himself to calling them friends) and especially the girls had kept their significant others on a very tight leash once they heard that Cas was into guys.

Even when he came in to Charlie’s party, looking up and down for Dean, he got some side eyes from the same type of people who always clutched their significant other to themselves more securely as soon as they felt danger to their relationship. But today, Cas didn’t care.

Today, he saw Dean and ignored the rest until he had reached him where he stood with Charlie and Meg by the liquor table.

“Hello Dean,” he said, looping his arms around him and burrowing his nose into the neck cut-out of his t shirt.

“Hey babe,” Dean gave back and greeted him with a kiss.

Only when they stopped kissing and looked back up because someone cheered from somewhere, they realised that all eyes were on them and Cas noticed with a frown that some of the more possessive people suddenly let go of their partners as if everything was secure now.

“Looks like you made an impression here,” Charlie beamed and finally greeted Cas too.

Meg nodded at him, their friendship was too old to still have any need for more.

“Really looks like all the guys and girls are happy now that the most interesting bachelors on campus have decided to take themselves out of the match making game. Good to see, boys,” she smiled and slapped Dean’s shoulder affectionately, but Dean only frowned and rubbed his arm where Meg had hit him.

“What do you mean: Girls? Cas is gay.”

“No no no, Dean-o. I’ve seen Clarence kiss plenty of girls when we were younger.”

Cas laughed about her and took Dean’s hand, assuring him: “I had an experimental phase too, yes. And at those dreaded slumber parties, you couldn’t help but play spin the bottle,” he took Dean’s clammy, crampy hand up to assure him that he had no interest in any girl.

He physically felt him huff out and slouch before he started smiling again.

“Uff, that’s good. It’s gonna be hard enough to fight all the guys off, no need to almost double the amount of people to keep at bay,” he smiled and Charlie and Meg laughed.

Cas however now let go of Dean’s hand as if he had been stung by a bee, and he felt it in his heart too. Dean brought the same kind of arguments that the people spoke of that always raised their eyebrows at him?

Cas always thought that if they were so unsure of their relationships that, in their opinion, they had to constantly bitch and fight others off in case their partner wandered off, the couple was doomed anyway.

Dean noticed him zoning out and leaned in to whisper: “Where did you just go?”

Cas just shook his head and shoved him off with a pained smile: “Let’s talk about that when we’re alone. I wanna enjoy the evening now.”

“Fine by me. Let’s dance,” Dean beamed and pulled at Cas until they stood in the middle of the room, the electronic song that was played a little too fast for intimate slow dance, but Dean didn’t care as his fingers dug into Cas’ hips to pull him close.

Cas’ breath hitched despite his irritation and before he knew it, he and Dean had made out for at least an hour, swaying on the make shift dance floor without paying any head to the other people in the room.

When they finally decided to drink something more, Dean parted their faces with both his hands on Cas, softly stroking over his cheekbones, before he let his hands drop onto his shoulders and trail down his arms.

Cas gulped as he let him take both his hands and lead him off, frowning a little when he felt a bottle pressed into his hand too and heard Dean quietly laughing in his ear.

“I swear dude, it’s like you’re in a trance.”

Cas shivered at feeling heated breath on his skin, and brought his hand up to Dean’s neck, holding the side of it as they nuzzled each other until their eyes met again.

“That’s what you do to me,” Cas admitted, his eyes half-closed and his hands moving onto Dean’s face again, closing in to kiss.

“If you fuck on my table, you buy it,” Charlie laughed in their backs. “Seriously, guys. It’s like the beginning of every porn I’ve ever seen.”

“And what would you know about gay porn?” Dean sassed her with a smile.

“Hey, don’t forget who was Cas’ roommate during our first degree. I’ve seen things I’ve never wanted to see.”

“Oh really?” Dean asked with raised eyebrows and Cas felt a little ignored as he moved over to Charlie to dish him some gossip about Cas’ previous partners or what else she had possibly seen him do that was scandalous.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Dean asked, a little too late when Charlie had already started to tell the story of how Cas had once decided to do his laundry and had just pulled off his shirt while doing it too because it started to smell, and hadn’t realised there were lots of other people doing their laundry too. So he had stood there, his only semi-clean thing now soaking wet in the machine as he pulled it back on quickly with a blush that looked like a bad sunburn.

“He doesn’t mind,” Charlie snorted and hugged Cas as an apology for telling this old story, and Cas assured them that he didn’t mind that she told it to Dean, but what he did mind a bit was the way Dean acted tonight. Like he wasn’t all that sure of himself or Cas, and went to others first for their opinion. He tightened his arm around Dean’s waist as he laughed about Charlie having stood up for Cas and how she’d said he could just go to back to their apartment while she ended up doing all their laundry.

“I should keep a look out if he tries to pull that trick again, the lazy ass,” Dean chuckled and leaned in to Cas, who felt himself grow a little stiff at that as well.

 

When they were back in their dorm, Dean still chuckled now and then about the rest of the evening, about Charlie’s other stories and how Meg had tried to land herself a boyfriend or girlfriend (it wasn't like she cared either way) and how she had not gotten anyone by the end of the party.

“Man, she looked like it rained lemons from the sky.”

“That wasn’t funny,” Cas chastised Dean. “The last guy was very rude to her asking him for a drink.”

“Yeah, whatever. She’s gonna find someone sooner or later,” Dean said and threw an arm possessively around Cas, wanting to climb him as if everything was settled, but Cas was really irritated right now and shoved him off.

“Dean, no.”

“No?” Dean asked, not understanding him.

“I wanted to talk to you. You’ve been bothering me a bit tonight.”

Dean seemed to clam shut at that, nodding as if to accept the inevitable: “Ok, how?”

“By this!” Cas bit out. “Like you’re putting on a confident act of wanting to fight people off, being relieved when you had only guys to deal with. Did it ever occur to you to just _ask_ me about that should it ever come to that? And also talking to Charlie about what I’ve done before we knew each other instead of asking me yourself, as if you don’t trust me or you to be objective about my past when I tell you about it? I don't know why you do that. So that you're sure that everything is true and not adapted to your ears to keep you from hearing something that could hurt you? You’re in safeguard mode, and I don’t like it. And how you looked down on Meg right now because she doesn‘t have someone, but _you_ have,” Cas finished, shaking his head. "I don't think that's like you and I don't understand why you're doing it now. But I think I have a pretty good guess," he stopped talking, wanting to give Dean time to stomach all of this.

Dean nodded, trying to understand everything Cas had just said. Here was the first rift to take for them and everything told him to clam up more, to leave and not deal with this until Cas wasn’t pissed at him anymore, but he needed to hold on, because that seemed to be the basis of what Cas said to him. To not pull out and put on armour to be shielded from hurt.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t even realise I was doing all that. And I don’t know why.”

“I do, or I think I do,” Cas said, scooting closer again. “You’re afraid and don’t feel secure enough with this. But Dean? It’s me,” he said with emphasis, pulling at the lapels of the jacket Dean hadn’t yet bothered to shed, shaking him a bit to make him understand. “It’s me. Cas. I would never do anything to hurt you and I am so into you I forget where I am or what I’m doing when you’re close to me. I’d never hurt you, but you assuming that I would hurts _me_ a bit,” he admitted finally.

“Fuck Cas,” Dean bit out in shock, now fully aware of what his insecurity had done. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” Cas assured him and held him close, none of them speaking for a couple of minutes.

“Shall I sleep in my own bed tonight?” Dean asked, his face scrunched in pain.

“Yes, I think that would be a good idea-” Cas started, but he had heard enough, absolutely having to pull out of the situation now before he heard anything more.

“Ok, got it,” he said very fast and got up. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he announced, not being able to look back at Cas and practically running into his room, shutting the door and leaning on it with his eyes stinging once he was inside.

“What the fuck have I done?” he asked himself, raking his fingertips hard across his face and balling his hands in his hair as he put on a sleeping t shirt and some pants, hopping into bed, just knowing that he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.

 

Dean tossed and turned for about an hour, until he heard his door creak open and he turned around to face it immediately.

Cas tapped into the room, fully dressed in his own pyjamas and purposefully lifted Dean’s comforter up, climbing under it without even inviting any objection as he tugged Dean's body close.

“I didn’t mean you should sleep alone, you assbutt. I just meant, perhaps you need your own bed to put your feet back on the ground. But you ran off before I could go on.”

Dean heaved and felt himself latching on to Cas, rubbing him all over to make sure he was really there and he wasn’t dreaming all of this.

“You really here?” he said, his voice strangely cloudy.

“Yes, I am. I will always be here.”

“Cas,” Dean sighed, happy to feel the warmth of another body seep into him and only now realising how cold he had felt before. He stroked Cas’ chest and just wanted to work his way lower, when Cas stilled him.

“No, Dean. Not tonight. We’re both exhausted.”

“Oh Cas, c’mon. You can’t make me into putty by coming in like you just did and then not let me touch you.”

“I am not against you touching me. I crave it, in fact. But your hands just made a beeline for my cock, and I don’t want that tonight. If I let you carry on, you’d _beg_ me to fuck you right now. Because you’re stalling, not because you really want it. I don’t want to do that. Not out of a position of weakness, Dean.”

Dean gulped and let his hands trail back up Cas’ body, because he had seen right through him. He would indeed have grabbed him now, made him desperate and then pleaded to be taken because he wanted to show Cas how he needed them to work out, even if he wasn’t ready for this yet.

“You need to trust yourself more,” Cas whispered at him as if he’d heard his thoughts. “And by proxy, you’ll trust me more then.”

“I promise to work on that. And I’m sorry,” he said it again.

“You’d better,” Cas grumbled a bit. “Because I don’t plan to get rid of you. Not ever.”

Dean let himself be consoled by Cas’ sassy words and now that he was here and they had steered this thing past the first rift, he was finally able to go to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

In the morning, Dean woke up to Cas humping his back in his sleep.

“Hey there, gorgeous. Getting desperate?” he asked, kissing Cas until he opened his eyes and looked at him a little guilty.

“I didn’t mean to…,” he blushed and brought a little space between them.

Dean let his hand trail low onto Cas’ body again, this time not wanting to raise any objection and happily sticking his hand into Cas’ pyjamas when there was none.

“Fuck, baby. You’re so hard,” he bit his lips and started jerking Cas off. “That’s not all morning wood.”

“No, it’s morning _Dean_ ,” Cas sighed and pushed into Dean’s hand who hid his face in his unoccupied hand because of the lame comeback.

“Pathetic Cas,” he grinned, moving close and never stopping to stroke.

“I know,” Cas chuckled and pushed the blankets down to be able to see Dean’s hand on him. “But you gotta give me credit for being able to speak at all,” he hummed, and then panted out a breath when Dean lowered his head on him, swirling around the tip of his cock and now using both of his hands to finish him off, with mighty strokes.

“Fuck, Dean. I’m gonna…,” Cas warned him a few seconds before coming right into his mouth.

He swallowed and stared up at Cas going boneless, tilting his head so he could smell Dean’s pillow, and then happily accepting the real deal as Dean came back up.

“You’re so perfect for me,” Dean cooed, rubbing his own still clothed erection on Cas’ stomach, taking up his hand and wanting to put it into his own nightwear, but Cas shook his head.

“What now?” Dean asked, his desperation palpable. “Babe, you’re killing me here.”

“I know, and I do plan on returning the favour, but I wanna take my time with you. And for that, I’d like it if we did our morning toilet first.”

“What do you want to do?” Dean asked, a little excited, a little torn, but mostly turned on.

“You’ll see,” Cas said ominously.

 

A few minutes later, they were back in Dean’s bed, both with their hearts racing. Dean stared up at Cas from a feign relaxed position, a bit of confusion painted onto his face, waiting until he explained what he planned to do and Cas was nervous but also happily expectant as he started: “I told you that I’ll worship you, right? And after last night, I think you need that too. I want you to lay back, relax, and just take everything I’m giving to you. You can have as much as you like, I‘m giving you everything. I will always do that.”

Dean nodded, lost for words once more and let Cas help him out of his t shirt before he settled back down, feeling Cas’ hands and lips everywhere on his body.

“Thank God it’s Saturday,” he said conversationally when Cas worked his way down his front, kissing and lapping at his nipples so Dean’s head was a complete whirl and he had to say something unrelated to hold on. “You sooo couldn’t take your time with this if we had to rush of to courses… or meet… someone…” his voice trailed off when Cas’ head peeked up to stare at him.

“What?”

“No, Dean. You’re trying to distract yourself. I think... you should stop that...,” Cas moved back up seductively and whispered: "Just enjoy it and stay here with me."

Dean nodded, aware of their conversation last night about going into safeguard mode, and when Cas’ mouth was back on him, he didn’t try to distract anymore, just took and took everything Cas gave him.

He worked his hips up when he felt teeth graze his stomach, carding through Cas’ hair because he wanted it and then simply did it with little downward presses, Cas letting himself be guided down low so he could take even more.

When he got low enough to nibble at Dean’s hipbones, Cas felt like he finally had him, could finally make him feel good and he was proven right when Dean bit out in a strained huff: “Pants off. God, I need to feel your mouth everywhere on me.”

Cas only nodded, sliding into position and meticulously pulling Dean’s pants off so his erection sprang forth.

“I wanna suck you so badly, Dean. But I want more than that. I want you to let me lick you everywhere and then to use one of our toys on you.”

“You? I-”

“I promise to take it slow, give you time. This is for you.”

“Yes. Yes of course,” Dean agreed because he wanted this now, wanted to let Cas do all those things, letting himself be held and held steady.

Cas nodded and pointed his finger to the toy he had put onto the nightstand while Dean was in the bathroom.

“I think that one was one of your favourites?”

“Yeah, I like that,” Dean nodded, but he didn’t pick up the toy right now but stared at Cas, still sitting between his thighs and all ready to pay very close attention to him.

“Please go on.”

Cas nodded again and slowly lowered his head onto him. The blowjob was already familiar, he felt Dean being really into it as he throbbed and trashed on the bed, thrusting up into him after about a minute, but Cas didn’t leave it at that.

He slowed again, letting Dean pop out of his mouth and deliberately lowered himself a bit more while he felt himself watched.

Cas licked his balls, first softly but when Dean bucked into his face shamelessly, he sucked the testicles into his mouth, switching between one and the other until Dean grabbed the headboard and opened his legs further.

“Fucking hell, yeah!” he nearly shouted.

“Care for me going even deeper?” Cas asked, waiting for an answer while he kissed Dean’s soft skin where he had just teased it.

“You mean…? Yes, oh yes,” Dean reacted passionately and brought his knees up so Cas had a perfect view of him.

“How’s it looking down there?” Dean asked, his face unreserved in his pleasure and not minding Cas’ gaze anymore, but in fact welcoming it.

“It’s perfect,” Cas said simply and when his tongue found Dean’s pucker to suck at it, his fist found his own dick because he had dreamt about this for so long that he already throbbed from the very first lick.

Cas moaned into Dean’s crack when he felt him flutter around his tongue and Dean propped himself off a bit to see him fucking his own fist as he rimmed him.

“Holy shit, you really like that. Mhhm, I like it too. Keep going, baby.”

Cas moaned again, really opening Dean now with deep licks and darting into him with long and with steady pushes, gasping out his own arousal.

“Fuck yeah!” Dean groaned out, pushing back onto Cas and nearing his climax, but losing steam a bit when Cas panted into him as he came on his own hand. Dean watched him, waiting until Cas was done coming and then impatiently dangled his ass in front of his face, comfortable to demand more attention of him.

“Oh god!” he groaned out, when Cas additionally jerked him off, feeling Dean clench around his tongue. “Moan again for me baby, you’re so sexy,” Dean asked him.

Cas happily obliged, licking into him with relish and pleased little moans, feeling the rush of Dean’s orgasm right on his tongue just as he jerked it out of his cock.

“Hell yeah!” Dean shouted triumphantly and then uttered fucked out little gasps as Cas took care of his rush with little licks to keep the flow going and jerking out his little aftershocks. He pressed a kiss to Dean’s sloppy hole before he licked his cock clean, keeping the strokes of his tongue light in order to not oversensitise Dean and then meeting his lips in a passionate kiss at long last.

“Was I good at just taking?” Dean asked when they parted their lips.

“Absolutely,” Cas praised and got comfortable next to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Awesome,” Dean grinned, but added: “Really, I’m awesome”, when Cas raised an eyebrow to tell him to be serious right now. “Never felt better,” he shifted to face Cas who asked him a question next.

“So I can do this more often then?”

“Yes, that and more. Very soon, ok? I feel much better about this now.”

“You seem like it too,” Cas smiled softly and tightened his arms around Dean’s chest with a content sigh. “I get that you need time to ease into this, and by all the steps you’ve already taken towards me, I see that you really want it. But I wanna know why you’re so afraid to be with me. And why you needed so long to get there, even though you were into me from the very beginning.”

“You knew?” Dean asked, not even really surprised anymore. Cas just seemed to get him.

“Yes, from the first moment on. It was the same for me. I always wanted you.”

“Me too. But you know, stuff happened… before I met you and it left me a bit shaken, I guess.”

“How about you tell me?”

“Ok, on one condition.”

“What would that be?”

“That we do it again later, and that you really use the toy on me, alright?”

“That sounds like a very good deal,” Cas sighed, full of content and let Dean tell all about his previous relationships and not being particularly close to his family anymore and how all that had left him a little too wary and reserved when it came to being with anyone. Dean talked on and on, not afraid to bore Cas to death with it, because he simply listened and gave him the feeling that he was the most important person on the planet.

After he had finished speaking and Cas still looked at him with an open expression and even smiled to let him know that he understood, Dean knew he was in love with him. And he didn’t feel scared of it anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean told Cas all about the more painful parts of his past and by the evening of spending a whole day with Cas in his bed, he felt ready to let Cas do more.

Cas was happy to oblige him.

Dean took the by now familiar position on the bed, letting Cas do everything to him that he wanted.

His breath hitched when Cas paid attention to his cock and balls again, before he opened him all up and slowly and carefully pushed Dean’s favourite vibrator into him.

“Is it ok, are you feeling good?” he asked when Dean’s legs shook and he braced himself on his arms in order to not be completely passive as Cas twisted the toy inside him, slowly pushing until Dean had adjusted.

“It’s great, Cas. Please keep going,” Dean told him and watched Cas reverently as he thrusted the toy into him repeatedly and always missing his prostate deliberately.

“Fuck, Cas. Stop it. Do it properly,” Dean panted and greedily pushed himself onto the toy that was not doing what he wanted.

But Cas only smirked and teased him further until Dean rolled his eyes, groaning in desperation and completely pushed himself up.

He roughly pulled the toy out of himself and within a second he laid Cas on his back, sucking him to proper hardness before he hovered over him, teasing Cas’ length over himself, before he sank down onto it and Cas ripped his eyes open at finding himself inside Dean.

“Oh fuck,” he mouthed, as Dean already picked up a rhythm, riding Cas with no problems as he looked down on him, smiling in the knowledge that he wasn’t the only one feeling amazing from this.

“Dean, oh fuck!” Cas cried out, his cock hot and hard as Dean grinded his hips so that Cas’ cock was right on his prostate.

“Yes!” he shouted out, languidly riding Cas as he fisted his own cock, spilling all over his lover’s body and afterwards intently focused to get Cas off too.

“Mmm, fuck,” Cas groaned out, his hands twisted in the comforter as he came inside Dean.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Dean grinned as he stilled, Cas still hot and perfect inside him. “Don’t know what all the fuss was about.”

“You suck,” Cas rolled his eyes, and pulled at Dean roughly until he was low enough to kiss.

 

In the following weeks both of them worked a lot for their final exams, tested more toys on each other and they switched their roles in bed, during which Dean gradually learned that he didn’t always need to be in control to ensure that Cas was feeling good.

By the end of the semester, Dean was comfortable under Cas as he rode him into oblivion.

“Fuck right there, Cas,” he moaned when Cas honest to god lifted Dean’s legs over his shoulders and pounded into him even harder than before, not teasing but hell-bent on bringing them both off.

“Fuck, harder,” Dean moaned, shamelessly jerking himself so that Cas could see it all and get even more turned on. 

“Dean!” he shouted, biting his lips and suddenly Dean was coming buckets all over himself, milking Cas until he came too.

“You really let go there,” Cas praised as he moved to kiss Dean.

“That’s because I love you, and I feel fine with doing this with you.”

“Could you repeat that?” Cas’ bedroom eyes opened as wide as they possibly could without falling out which looked a little comical in connection with his tousled hair and his skin red from the exertion he had just had.

“What?” Dean smirked, no sign of self-consciousness in his face. “The bit about feeling fine, or the bit about love?”

“You have one guess, dumbass.”

Dean chuckled and embraced Cas now: “I think I can guess what you want to hear. I love you, Cas. And I’ve known that for a while. Just now it just came out.”

Cas nodded, smiling as he said: “And I love you.”

Dean rolled his eyes with a smile: “Tell me something I don’t know, dumbass.”

They laid down now, Dean lazily drawing circles on Cas’ skin.

“Sooo…”

“Sooo?” Cas yawned, his eyes half closed and ready to take a nap after a session of great sex.

“What’re your plans for the semester break?”

“Well, let’s see,” Cas yawned again, and turned to face him. “There’s Dean,” he said, tangling his arm around the person in the bed going by that name. “And there is Dean,” he muttered when he snuggled closer. “And last but not least, there’s Dean,” he kissed him softly and smiled tiredly. “Do you approve of my plans?”

“Hell yeah,” Dean grinned and both went to sleep securely tugged away in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone. This is finished (for now). Perhaps I'll pick it back up if inspiration strikes again.


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